17-year silence of 'fate'!
MELTEM OKTAY
VAN (DİHA) – The never-ending child marriages both in Turkey and Kurdistan is not only causing the countries’ backwardness, but more importantly causing trauma in those children who are forced to marry at an early age.
Forcing a child to marry at a young age is one of major problems in the society and these marriages are installing a enormous physical and mental responsibility in these children and the so-called "honor" creates a destruction in their lives. The drama of two sisters aged 13 and 15, who were also child brides, are among many.
‘She was married with her brother-in-low forcibly’
In Van, N.Ö’s sister was forced to marry when she was 13, but she was sent back claiming that she was not a "virgin" and therefore N.Ö, who is now 15 was exchanged with her sister and she married her brother-in-law. Before her life changed overnight, N.Ö’s sister S.Ö was forced to marry someone she did not know. At the age of 13, S.Ö was sent to Hakkari as a “bride” and was given a farewell by her family into obscurity.
Bill of 'honor rescue' paid by 15-year-old N.Ö.!
The next day, the parents of both bride and broom were at ribs with each other because the broom’s family claimed that their "daughter was not a virgin" and she should be "cleared of her sin". “You need to exchange this girl with your other girl who is virgin. If not, this will be a reason for bloodshed” said the broom’s family. Thereupon the family’s "honor rescue" bill was paid by 15-year-old N.Ö. who was forced to marry her sister’s husband instead.
'My situation was worse than berdel*’
On the other hand, S.Ö. whose life was saved thanks to her sister was brought back to her parents’ home but has been exposed to both physical and psychological violence by her family. Not being able to suffer all these, S.Ö. escaped her home to save herself. Since then nothing is heard of S.Ö.. She added: "My situation was worse than of berdel - exchanging girls of two families to marry boys of the same two families."
She attempted suicide many times
N.Ö. who married her sister’s husband to rescue “honor” did not spare from being treated as a "dishonored" woman and faced both torture and exposed to insults. Being the sister of “non-virgin” girl, her "honor" was still questioned. Being a mother at the age of 16, N.Ö. attempted suicide many times. After 20 years of marriage that has been like a torture for her, N.Ö. has had 4 children.
‘I have seen my baby as a toy’
"When I bore my baby, I did not even know how to parent her," said she. Saying that she did not know what to do when she picked her baby, N.Ö. stated, “I saw her as a toy. I looked after her as if I played with a toy. I did not know what mothering meant”.
‘I am sleeping with anger and waking up with anger’
N.Ö. said that, “Getting married to one’s sister’s previous husband is a huge burden that has never been removed from my shoulders”. "If I were as conscious as I am now, I would never accept this humiliation. I have anger against all these and against my husband. I am sleeping with anger and waking up with anger. The women need to show the outmost resistance to not let these regrets happen again," she concluded.
(da/nt)
